In Memoriam

MSRC are honoured to provide a place where friends and family can remember those who have passed on and leave a lasting memorial to them.

Your personal tributes to your loved ones can take any form you like, and include pictures, text etc.

If you would like to remember a loved on this page please email John Habkirk, the MSRC Website Manager - squiffy@msrc.co.uk

Life Goes On

The sun will rise tomorrow
Into a cloudless sky
The wind will blow
A lofty breeze
The fields let forth a sigh
And life will pay no mind
To all the hurt I feel
But slowly pass
As if to say
The pain just can't be real
For in this world of happiness
There is no room for sorrow
Life goes on
And I have learned
The sun will rise tomorrow.

MSRC Memorial Donations

If you would like to make a donation to MSRC in rememberance of your loved one please click on the MSRC In Memoriam Donation Button:    

Legacies

Everyone can leave a legacy, not just the very wealthy.

A legacy is simply a gift and we hope the information provided in the MSRC Wills and Legacies Document will provide you with all the guidance you need and will demonstrate how important your gift can be. To learn more please go to the Leaving a legacy to the MSRC in your Will page.

Ian you are a most special person. People always used to say to me that they could not believe that you had had MS since you were nineteen years of age. Your lust for life even at 40yrs was vast. MS ....what's that? You never let MS stand in your way...in our way. For this I will love you forever.

Sleep babes...you have more than earned it.

Your loving wife, Ax

We sat around the kitchen table and discussed how I was coping and what I expected from physio. I told her what I wanted, which was slightly different to expected, and that was to walk again. Julie being Julie took this on board and she worked very hard with me and never told me it was an impossibility. She always went that little bit further and when Brian came home in the evenings I would tell him I had had a good romp around the bed with Julie! I obviously mean in a physio sense. There will never be another Julie, someone who is prepared to give so much of themselves in an effort to achieve your personal goals.

In our initial discussion around the kitchen table she asked me if I had got all the support services I needed. We told her we did not have anybody helping to get me up in the mornings. Julie was immediately on the case and phone calls were made and someone quickly came to assess me. This was how Julie continued for the rest of the time I knew her. We would chatter away and I would mention something, not intending her to organise it but she would be off making her phone calls and organising everything on my behalf.

I had always wanted to go on the London Eye, so did Brian, but we had difficulty arranging a time that tied him down. Julie, being Julie, jumped into the breach yet again and said she would come with us and that way it would happen. It did!

It was the same when I told her that Brian might have to go to New York on business. At the time I was having problems with my carers and I didn't want Brian worrying about me while he was away, nor did I want to be worrying about when someone was going to turn up! We were having a little discussion on who I could contact in the States to get someone to look after me for a few days if I accompanied Brian and Julie, being Julie, immediately piped up "I'll come!"

About a week later the likelihood of going to New York seemed more positive and I asked Brian if he would like Julie to come with us to look after me. He immediately said "yes if she can get the time off work." So I asked Julie if she was serious and she said dependent on when we were going, as long as it fitted in with her work she would love to come with us. The dates fitted and Julie came with us.

It was a long flight and Julie slept virtually all the way which proved to be very advantageous as the key for her hotel room didn't work. After numerous keys she was eventually let in by the porter and given yet another key. Having slept most of the way on the plane she wasn't overly tired and at five o'clock in the morning she decided to give her key another go. You've guessed it, she closed the door behind her and couldn't get back in. She felt she had caused too much disruption over her keys already, so decided to go for a walk in Central Park! (Hadn't she heard the story's!). The next day she was able to show us all around Central Park without any hesitation.

Over breakfast that morning Julie asked us if our room was okay and I said we had booked a wet floor shower and got a bath instead! Julie, being Julie, was immediately on the case and she came up to our room a little while later and told us we would be moving the following day. True to their word we were duly ushered up to the Executive Floor! The hotel never did find a key that worked for Julie's room so she also had to move but unfortunately not to the Executive Floor.

Right up until the end Julie was doing things for me. She had arranged to come round to see me on the Saturday to rearrange my fireplace, so that I could display my new Christmas presents to their best advantage. She phoned me up on Friday evening to say she would have to cancel and she would see me on Monday. That was the last time I ever spoke to Julie.

I am privileged to have known Julie and we had a lot of laughs. No one will be able to replace her. Thank you, Julie, for being you. You were in every part of our lives and you are sorely missed.

Helen Dawn Chivers

14/11/1966 to 04/04/2004

(Beloved & Cherished Daughter, Sister, Auntie and Friend)

I have just heard on the radio that most stars shine for 2 billion years, my daughter Helen was a shining star, not just to us, her family but to the many people whose path she crossed during her short but valuable life.

Helen had cerebal palsey (brain damage), when she was diagnosed at 10 months old I was given the stark choice, put her away or take her home and devote myself to her care. In choosing to take her home I committed the rest of our family, and future members of the family to that decision!!

How fortunate I was that Helen's sense of fun, fairness and her courage made the task so much easier than it could have been.

How fortunate also that she was no saint, she could be extremly bloody minded and awkward but never unkind, never blind to others needs and a wonderful judge of character.

Helen never used her physical difficulties to her advantage, she willingly took a back seat when others needed the attention and care. She became both of her brother's best friend and inspiration.

It is so hard to speak of Helen in the third person when for 37 years she struggled to speak for herself, with her eyes, with her expressions and her hands; but speak I must if her inspirational courage is to continue; I believe it must, I believe that her work is not done and that only by using her specialness to encourage and lead others can she enjoy her “golden slumbers”.

How do I paint a meaningful picture of my daughter for those who never had the luck to meet her, I really do not know, but I will try.

Imagine if you can a time 40 years ago when survival of severly handicapped babies was not expected: a time when life expectancy for those babies diagnosed with multiple handicaps was about 5 years(give or take a year or two).

Imagine if you can no aids to make life comfortable, no meaningful schooling, no charter of care and support.

This was the world that Helen came into, unable to sit, unable to walk, unable to see very well, unable to talk, unable to suck or swallow successfully. To be honest the only thing that kept me going was the thought that she would not live for long, that her chronic ill health would take her and I could then rest and care for my other children in the way that they deserved.

I loved Helen more than words can express, but I am human and honest enough to admit to fear, but I defy anyone not to have fallen under Helen's spell, slowly her true personality emerged, and a shrinking violet she was not!!!

She learned to have fun, always noisily(we all learned to lip-read the television). She learned to sing!!!(totally out of tune, like her mother) and without words but a joyous outburst as music always should be.

She had the ability to draw people to her, ill health was her contant companion.

She sensed sorrow, lonliness and fear in people and reached out with her tiny, bent hand and brought comfort to so many including me, her Mum.

I remember a time when swallowing became almost impossible for her and her weight plummetted to 21Kilos, a medical proceedure was tried and the whole ward held its breath the first time Helen tried to drink post op., she succeeded and everyone in the ward, patients, visitors and staff cheered with sheer joy and relief, this was the magic of my daughter.

To sum up, Helen smiled when most of us would have cried, she laughed and we, her companions in life laughed with her. We relied on her for friendship, consistant love and humour. Helen, against all the odds became a strong, beautiful person, a “womanchild” who is missed so much. Her own person, stubborn, awkward, bloody minded, kind, perceptive, unselfish and beautiful!!!!!

Why do I share this with you, the readers? because she was too good to be kept only in my heart, she needs to be shared, to be admired, to be remembered.

Why through MSRC? because even before her death we have had to witness a much loved family member move into the MS waiting room, symtoms of MS but no diagnosis. Through this we have come to appreciate some of the difficulties, frustrations and isolation this condition and its lack of understanding and funding can cause. MSRC provides some relief to this, 24 hour councilling, unbiased information and the knowledge that you, patient, carer or friend are not alone.

Please help Helen to help this cause. If her story has moved you, has encouraged you, has given you food for thought please remember and donate occasonally to this cause, the contents of a swear box would be a fitting memorial to the woman who without spoken language managed to communicate in colour!!!!!!

Gay Burns

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